Why Trust Matters More Than Technique in Portrait Photography - Moments of Mood, 2.1

In this episode of Moments of Mood, I talk about something that many people ask me about: how to get better portraits! And you guessed it, it's not about what gear you use or what lighting you have. This all helps, of course, but really the true magic comes from how you garner connection and trust.

Please listen, and I'll explain how.

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Thank you for listening and for being a part of this incredible community. You can also watch this episode on my YouTube channel (link below) where I also share insights, photography tips and behind-the-scenes content on my channel as well as my social media, so make sure to follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Threads and TikTok or check out my website for my complete portfolio of work.

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Missing Element in Portraits
• 1:07 Understanding Subject Discomfort
• 3:00 Learning From the Other Side
• 4:34 Building Trust Before Shooting
• 6:24 Capturing Authentic Moments
• 7:41 Experience Being Photographed Yourself
• 8:24 Masters of Human Connection

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Have you ever taken a photo of someone and felt like something was missing? You got the light right, the composition was solid, but the image just didn't feel real. That's because great portraits aren't just about cameras or technique. They're about connection, and if you don't know how to connect with people, no amount of gear will fix that. That. We don't talk enough about the human side of portrait photography. Everyone obsesses over the technical light setups, camera settings, lens choices, etc. But if you've ever photographed someone who's stiff, self-conscious or clearly uncomfortable, you'll know none of that matters if the person in front of the camera doesn't feel at ease, because portrait photography isn't just about capturing what someone looks like. It's about capturing who they are, and to do that you need more than a camera. You need trust. And to do that you need more than a camera. You need trust, you need empathy. And here's the thing Most people don't trust themselves in front of the camera. We all carry insecurities, most of which we don't even think about most days, but the second they step in front of your lens, it's all they can focus on. Maybe you've felt it yourself, that moment when someone points a camera at you and suddenly you're kind of hyper aware of everything. Who is this person? Why do they need to look at me so closely? What do I do? How do I sit? How does my skin look, my expression, et cetera, et cetera. The list is endless. You don't feel natural. You feel, excuse, the pun exposed. That's what your subject and I hate that word, by the way and if you ignore that, if you jump straight into technical adjustments and posing without first acknowledging their discomfort, you're going to get a stiff, lifeless image every time. Now, before I continue, I want to clarify that when I'm talking about portraits, I'm talking about photos with people as a subject of the image. This can be in a studio or outside, on location, with models or with people who've never had their photo taken before. The principles remain the same, but vary in degree.

Speaker 1: 2:23

I remember the first time I really understood what it felt like to be on that other side of the camera, in front of it, I was still learning to be behind it, still learning photography, and my mentor at the time was an experienced portrait photographer. One day he turned the camera on me, no warning, no prep, and I remember feeling completely out of my depth. It was totally alien. I could hide behind the camera, but in front of it I felt like I had no control. Every tiny insecurity about my appearance, things I never usually thought about, were suddenly all-consuming. I became hyper aware of my face, my body language, even how I was breathing. And then something interesting happened. My mentor didn't just take a photo, he talked me through the process. He made me feel at ease. He wasn't just trying to get a shot, he was trying to understand me. He let me be part of the image making process and feel like I was included in his thoughts and ideas about what to do. He allowed me to see every image behind the camera and talked me through everything. He guided me without forcing anything and by the end of it I was relaxed. He guided me without forcing anything and by the end of it I was relaxed. So the result a great, authentic photo, but more importantly, an enjoyable and memorable experience. And that experience changed the way I approached portrait photography, probably forever.

Speaker 1: 3:48

Great portrait photographers don't just see their subject, they understand them, they empathize with them. You can tell the second someone walks into a session what their energy is like. Some people walk in confident, ready to go. Others they hesitate. They make jokes about being unphotogenic. They apologize for how they look before you've even taken a single shot. This is often the case with people off the street and customers who are paying you for their portraits not necessarily so much with models, certainly.

Speaker 1: 4:20

In my experience, anyway, this is where your job really begins. Your job is not to just take a technically good photo. Your job is to make them feel safe enough to be themselves. So how do we do that exactly? Well, first, stop making it about the camera. The worst thing you can do is hold the camera or immediately start adjusting lights and barking instructions. That just reminds them that this is a process, that they're being examined. Instead, talk to them, get them comfortable, if you can, before the camera even comes into play.

Speaker 1: 4:59

Sometimes I don't take a single shot for 10 to 15 minutes if it's here in the studio. I just talk, I ask questions, I listen, I let the moment settle, I let them get comfortable, I show them where everything is, I just allow myself to be human with them without bringing this odd and strange experience for them into the spotlight, literally and figuratively and here's something important people mirror your energy. This is something that is overlooked and definitely underappreciated all the time. You and your mindset is the most important thing in photography, especially when you're photographing other people. If you're moody, stressed, anxious or tense, they will be too, but if you're relaxed, confident, engaged, that feeling spreads. If they feel uncomfortable about something specific maybe their smile, the side of their face, their skin, their weight you don't dismiss it, you acknowledge it subtly, but you guide them past it.

Speaker 1: 5:59

For me, the trick is gentle direction. I don't force people into poses, I don't tell them exactly where to look. I let them find something natural and then refine it. Because the moment you over-direct someone, the moment they start thinking about what they're doing and the image loses its truth. So have a plan but observe, really observe them as they settle, as they move, as they sit or stand in position, and see what they do. Then work with it.

Speaker 1: 6:29

There's always a moment in a portrait shoot when things shift, when the subject stops overthinking and just exists in the space. That's the moment you're waiting for, and it doesn't come from technical perfection. It comes from empathy and trust. Some of my favorite portraits weren't planned. They happened in the in-between moments, right after someone laughed, right after they let out a breath or exactly when they were naturally engaged in their facial expressions, and that's why I never really stopped shooting, because the best photo is often the one that wasn't supposed to happen. I'll always have a plan and even stage a scene, but in the true knowledge that the staging or scene is just to create the in-between moments themselves, and I'll watch out for them. They're subtle, they're nuanced, but they're the moments when the person really opens up to you and feels that trust. Here's something I think more portrait photographers should do Go and get your own portrait taken, if you've not done it before with a professional photographer.

Speaker 1: 7:41

Not just a casual selfie, though, a real portrait. If you have a photographer friend, maybe that's great, but if not, go and pay for your portrait to be taken or even offer to collaborate with someone online. It's also a great way to network. The point is sit down in front of a photographer who knows what they're doing and be mindful of how it feels. Pay attention to the thoughts that go through your head, notice the moments when you feel uncomfortable or comfortable and observe how the photographer really makes you feel. This experience will likely change the way you shoot, because once you know what it's like to be in that chair, in front of that lens, you'll approach your subjects with way more empathy.

Speaker 1: 8:19

So portrait photography is about more than just getting a flattering angle. It's about making someone feel seen. The best portrait photographers aren't just masters of light or composition. They're masters of human connection. They know how to make someone feel safe enough to be real and to be vulnerable. So the next time you take a portrait, don't start with the camera. Start with the person. Let go of control, meet them where they are and when you do the image, I'm sure will take care of itself. Happy shooting.