How to Find Your Voice as an Artist - Jaymin Patel, EO90

"If you don't find your voice, you're probably not contributing to the evolution of humanity in the way you want."

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Jaymin Patel is a global speaker, spiritual mentor, and high-performance coach who blends energetic mastery with deep mindset work. He’s spoken at Harvard, Stanford, and TEDx, and coached hundreds of creative entrepreneurs to overcome fear, find their authentic voice, and live fully expressed lives. In this episode, Jaymin and I unpack what it really means to live, create, and lead with purpose.

What we discussed:

• Why creativity is a spiritual journey
• How to find your voice when you feel like no one’s listening
• The cost of inaction—and how to overcome it
• Rewiring fear and imposter syndrome
• Why your “level 5” can inspire someone at level 1
• How networking changes everything when done with presence
• The 4 stages of real connection (Jaymin’s Relationship Hierarchy)
• Why your emotions are the real bottleneck
• Practical steps to shift your identity and start creating from truth

Find Jaymin's work on his platforms:

Website: https://jayminspeaks.com
Instagram: @iamjayminjpatel

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Thank you for listening and for being a part of this incredible community. You can also watch this episode on my YouTube channel (link below) where I also share insights, photography tips and behind-the-scenes content on my channel as well as my social media, so make sure to follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Threads and TikTok or check out my website for my complete portfolio of work.

YouTube:
www.youtube.com/@mattyj_ay

Learn with me
https://mattjacobphotography.com/voice-alchemy

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Website:
www.mattjacobphotography.com

Socials:
IG | X | TikTok | Threads | YouTube | @mattyj_ay

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to the Mood Podcast
• 2:07 The Value of Finding Your Voice
• 5:27 How to Define Your Voice
• 16:16 Finding Authority in an unknown space
• 21:26 Finding Your Edge and Taking Steps Forward
• 33:56 Jaymin's Journey to Coaching
• 48:47 Networking Like a Rockstar
• 1:05:09 Breaking Through Fear and Emotional Mastery
• 1:20:29 The Four Key Pillars of Transformation
• 1:36:23 Who Do You Get To Be?

Transcript

Matt Jacob: 0:00

Welcome to the Mood Podcast, uncovering the art of conversation through the lens of photography and creativity, one frame at a time. I'm your host, Matt Jacob, and thank you for joining me, and in this week's episode, I speak with Jamin Patel. Jamin is a global speaker who has spoken at hundreds of establishments around the world, including TEDx, Harvard, Stanford and so many more. He is also a high performance coach and spiritual mentor to some of the world's top creative entrepreneurs. His work blends energetic mastery with deep mindset transformation, helping people step out of fear, access the intuition and lead lives of embodied impact, and so he was a perfect guest for us to revisit really what drives us as photographers, filmmakers and artists. Now, if you're here for photography talk and wondering why this conversation even matters, I get it, but the truth is, creativity doesn't just come from skill or practice. It comes from presence, from clarity, from the energy we bring to our work. And that's exactly why I bring voices like Jamin's onto the show, because if you want to lead with your art and build something meaningful, or just stop burning out while trying to do it at all, this inner alignment stuff isn't optional, it's the foundation.

Matt Jacob: 1:19

During my conversation with Jamin, we go deep into what it really means to live in alignment with your creative power. He shares how to rewire fear, how to stop outsourcing your confidence to external results and how to access that quiet, intuitive knowing that sits beneath the noise. We talk about masculine and feminine energy and leadership, the myth of doing more, and why ambition without awareness often leads to burnout. So, whether you're a photographer, coach, writer or simply someone building a vision, this episode will really help you drop the armor and tune to what's already within. So let's get into it. Here is Jamin Patel. Jamin Patel.

Jaymin Patel: 2:08

That Jacob. Jamie patel, that jacob. Welcome to the mood podcast. Yeah, I'm excited for the mood. Let's see what mood we get let's see what mood we're what.

Matt Jacob: 2:15

What mood are you in right now? What mood about playful, playful. Yeah, that's it playful. I'm curious, okay, I'm curious, okay, I'm curious to not only understand your story, but understand how you've kind of created this version for yourself and version of yourself, as well as the voice that you present to the world. So we'll talk a lot about that. But I'm also curious as to why someone listening to this podcast right now especially a lot of my audience who are interested in photography creativity why would you suggest that they hang around to listen to us today?

Jaymin Patel: 3:05

probably drop some gold, even one gold nugget. That can really shift something for people who are listening, and not because I think I'm amazing, but I know that when I get into it it's just kind of like it just comes. You know, I feel almost like a channel. Like you know, for creatives who are watching, they might feel that where they're like something's moving through them to capture a photo or to write a song or to whatever. In the same way, when it comes to stuff like this, through speaking, that's like my artistic modality, even though it's a rather functional modality, and so, yeah, I think what I can pretty much guarantee is that something will definitely come through in the magic that's unfolding. That can just be that golden nugget, and I just encourage every listener or viewer to like look out for that one golden nugget and really take that and go all the way.

Matt Jacob: 3:48

Yeah, and I'll give a little bit of context as to why you're on the show, I guess. Yeah, you know you and I met through the Barley Brotherhood, which is a men's group here, a men's networking group, and then we kind of started to work together on an event that you held with the Global Possibilities Summit and invited me to be part of that, which was fantastic. So you coached me a lot on exactly what you said, right, how to bring your voice to the world in an articulate and meaningful and inspirational way, right. So for people watching this, I remember how it happened and we're going to we're going to do a little video after this and people who are watching on YouTube can see my keynote speech that you coached me on after this. You rocked it, yeah.

Matt Jacob: 4:32

So, I and I only rocked it because of you know the way you worked and I remember our first online kind of coaching session and you would. You spent an hour basically digging into my story right in the way I put it, and just kind of where I was born and what my background was and what I like and what I don't like in career. And then you did this and you talk about dropping some magic. You did this magical thing where you close your eyes and you spend, you know, five minutes basically giving a speech that encapsulated not only my story but what that meant to the world and and clear takeaway. So that's that's why you're on the show, cause you are.

Jaymin Patel: 5:09

You are a magician in your own right, um, and we're going to, we're going to dive into it.

Matt Jacob: 5:13

Um so, tell me, tell me what voice means to you, and I don't really mean, obviously, the literal version of that, but tell me, tell me what the meaning of voice, certainly in a kind of creative aspect, means to you. How would we define that?

Jaymin Patel: 5:27

Yeah. So to me, this concept of voice in a creative aspect, I really do feel that everything that we do is creative, right, because it impacts people. And so, when it comes to voice, I would almost think about it as having this unique frequency or angle in a variety of notes that are floating around, right. And so I think what happens a lot in society, especially as we're growing up, is we're all kind of given this ideal voice of like. Here's the thing that is the voice we all like, right, and it means getting good grades, going to college, getting a job Right, these things that are celebrated. We're kind of moved along towards this one kind of voice, and if we do other things, then maybe that's cool as well. And so I think, as grownups, you know, when we're in our own space, our own sovereignty, we want to be able to like, really send a beam out for people to understand what our voice is. And the reason that I think voice is important is because it creates permission and possibility, right. And so when I look at my own life, people might look at my life and be like Jamin, how do you do all these things that you've done, you know? And the reality is, is that somewhere someone in my life was doing something like that Right, and because they did it, I had the permission and the possibility to also do that Right.

Jaymin Patel: 6:52

And so for me, I realized just how powerful my voice is, and I was that kind of kid that like naturally, a lot of people would come to me for their relationship woos or their parent stuff. You know, I would just be the person that they talk to and I'll tell you something my voice was not honed as a coach, right, and so I was giving pretty terrible advice, like like I look back on it, and I was just I mean, I was a good listener, so I think that was good, but I was really immature and I hadn't found my voice and so when I was speaking back and giving advice, I was like, oh yeah, I just leave her. Or you know, like all of these things that actually weren't like loving because I hadn't found my own voice. Now, as a professional coach, you know, when people come to me, I've traveled to 70 countries. I've, you know, in eight books I've worked with hundreds of coaches to receive coaching.

Jaymin Patel: 7:41

I've, I've done all this stuff to really expand what are all the notes that are out there and finding mine and having it be something that's an instrument of love and an instrument of truth. And I think everyone's voice is their own angle on what they love and what they see as true. And the more that we are all doing that, the more ripples of permission and possibility we're creating in the world. And when we're not doing that, the more ripples of permission and possibility we're creating in the world. And when we're not doing that, when there isn't a creative expression and everything sounds like the one note that we're all told our whole lives to give, the world gets very boring right.

Jaymin Patel: 8:16

And there's a lot of suffering, and so this is why I think voice is really important and that's how I think about voice when it comes to any creative endeavor is that it's an articulation of your essence, and your essence is simply what you believe, what you love and what you think is true, and there's this desire to share that out. I think this is beautiful, right. I think this is something that people would love. Boom, let me put this out there, right, because I love it and I think it's beautiful and I want people to know, and that creates this ripple where other people start doing things.

Matt Jacob: 8:47

Yeah, and I think for people who haven't, they've just heard you speak then you know, extremely articulate, extremely inspirational. So I encourage everyone to go and see your work, your speeches, all of your talks, which we'll put links to your website and everything under that. Give us a background of how you kind of found your voice and what was the seminal moment that got you into your coaching, your speaking, your multifaceted business, all the books that you've written, the hundreds and hundreds of talks you've done around the world. Tell us that process for you. How did it come about?

Jaymin Patel: 9:21

So you know, I wouldn't say there was just this one moment, but it was a series of moments and the very first moment is, believe it or not, growing up I was a total introvert, right. So I would go to a group, you know, indian American. So I'd go to these like big Indian functions for our community. And you know, I would arrive there in parking lot and all the little boys they'd be playing like football or something. They're like hey, do you want to come play with us? And I would just be holding on to my mom, sorry. And I would just be like, no, I'm going to stay with my mom and I would just like go in with my mom, and I wouldn't even play with the other kids.

Jaymin Patel: 9:56

I was so nervous, I wanted to be a good boy. I was just introverted, wasn't sure how to make friends, so I, I didn't really have a voice. I was that kid who just hide in his like mom, sorry, you know, at public events. And a pivotal moment for me was, I think I was in around seventh grade, ish, or it's like the summer before seventh grade and I, my mom, sent me to a camp, I guess a week-long camp, for seven days.

Jaymin Patel: 10:21

I didn't know who's going to be there. I didn't know. You know, it's like okay, whatever. And she's like, yeah, I think it'll be good for you. So we're going up to camp and I just have this thought, I have this idea. I don't know where it comes from, but I was like what if I just tried something different? You know, I think I was in my teen years. I was feeling a little bit of, like you know, rebellious energy from how I had been and I wanted to just desperately and drastically be something different. So I said, okay, I'm going to go to this thing. It's one week long and I'm just going to kind of run this experiment where Jamin is an extrovert and and he's bold and he's courageous and he just really speaks what he wants to speak, and I'm just going to try this out with these strangers that I'm never going to see again. It was a few hours from my house and I'm just going to be that Jamin. You know, I just wanted to try it out and I went and everybody fell in love with that Jamin. That Jamin was like the most popular kid at camp.

Jaymin Patel: 11:17

It was incredible the response of me actually using my voice like shining, you know, creating this ripple of permission and possibility. People loved it, like it was just such an amazing response. Everyone at camp knew me, you know, and at the end of it they all became my friends. And then, you know, I knew them for years and we got on road trips together and it just became this community and I was like, wow, I had been not using my voice, whether it was because I wanted to be a good boy or I wanted to impress, you know, or like show my parents I was, you know, subordinate, you know all of these Indian values, whatever that was. I hadn't really been doing that. And once I had that superpower experience of this little experiment and seeing the response of how attracted people were to my voice when I used it, I ultimately became an extrovert. You know, like I came back to my school and I started being way more talkative. You know, people were like starting noticing me more because I would just kind of move through the space without really being noticed, and it really just changed the trajectory of my life because I realized my voice is powerful, my presence is powerful and I shouldn't be hiding it, and that was a really, really important lesson. And then, from there, I think people you know like my path to now where I am now.

Jaymin Patel: 12:32

I grew up as an overachiever, right. So I grew up in a household with a lot of expectation and you know just, my parents loved me but they were very strict and my response was people pleasing and overachieving, right. So I graduated high school year early. I got a full ride scholarship to university. They actually paid me to go to school. They actually get a check every semester had full free tuition room board books I mean literally did not pay a cent in the US, in Ohio, and then graduated with a degree in engineering, went to like a rotational leadership program at a fortune 500 company where I was managing people.

Jaymin Patel: 13:10

I was like 21 when I graduated and I was managing people who were twice, sometimes three times, my age, you know, and so is this really wild experience. And um, then, of course, that wasn't enough. So I went on to get an MBA from a top business school. While I was there I picked up a secondary master's in public policy management why not? So then I had an extra degree.

Jaymin Patel: 13:31

I went to go work for a top four management consulting firm where I was advising CEOs of Kraft, unilever, you know these, these Citibank, these big companies, and it was wild.

Jaymin Patel: 13:45

I would like be in the room making these decisions and I'd have to sign an NDA and then a few weeks later I'd read about it, you know, in the wall street journal. It was like I was in that room. It was a wild experience and I was like 24, 25 when this was happening, you know so. So my voice really started kind of opening me up and my presence and understanding people of how to get to the right place, um, but of course, you know, at that point I got kind of burnt out of. I was working 80, 90 hours a week, traveling a bunch you know all this stuff and um, I discovered Burning man and um, and once I went to Burning man I started talking about quitting and becoming a hippie. Because that was another pivotal moment, because I realized, even though I was doing all of these things, I was singing the note that somebody else wanted me to sing.

Jaymin Patel: 14:33

Does that make sense? And Burning man, or any festival, but Burning man, specifically for anyone who's familiar and if you're not, go look it up is a place that's about radical self-expression and radical authenticity. And so you go to a place where that is the tenant of how people show up. It's incredible to be around. It was like that camp that I went to in, you know, seventh grade when I was doing it for myself, but now everybody was doing it and it's like 60 000 people who are doing that and they're coming and they're showing up in their costume or they're naked. And they're coming and they're showing up in their costume, or they're naked or they're. You know they're doing the wildest things and everyone's just being as authentically, radically you know themselves as possible. And so once I had a taste of that after singing that one note, I was like, oh, there's no way I'm going back, and since then my life mission has been to be how do I be this authentic that I'm being at this festival?

Jaymin Patel: 15:28

yeah in the middle of the desert, but do it every day of my life, and and that's ultimately what led me to leave management consulting I had written my first book already during that time. So I went on a path of becoming a speaker, and and I wasn't even a coach at that time, I was just speaking, you know. So I was just being um, a speaker and um, then, slowly, people started coming to me and said hey, can you coach me? You know, um, I was talking about networking.

Matt Jacob: 15:56

Yep.

Jaymin Patel: 15:57

So I said, yeah, I can coach you on networking. And then it turned out a bunch of deeper stuff was going on and I was on my own path of doing my own deeper stuff and I started applying it and it turned out I had a knack for getting you know, to get to the place where I can really help someone. So coaching became a part of that. More books were written, more talks were given, the coaching business expanded. I started hiring coaches to teach my methodology. Um, and that's led me to where I am today.

Jaymin Patel: 16:25

You know, it's just this desire to really like I can see how anyone's voice in the world and everyone's action in the world I'll just go that simple. Every action that we take creates an impact, even inaction. So when we see people who are not taking action, that's sending out a ripple effect. Whether you're a parent in a family, you know whether you're in a brotherhood, whether you're in an organization, if one person sees you not taking action, they get the permission to also not take action and that ripples across that organization. But when one person sees you do something amazing, they get inspired to do something amazing and soon everyone's doing something amazing. You can kind of see how that works and I, you know, through my travels, I just saw how much of a ripple this all made and it became really important to me to be.

Jaymin Patel: 17:14

This light of permission, this light of this is why my company is called Everything Is Possible, because I just want to be the embodiment of that. I want to be the embodiment of that. I want to be the embodiment of everything that's possible. As people go deeper and deeper into my life, they go how are you doing this and that? And I was like well, everything is possible. And I found a way right, and that's become like a like the signature of my voice. Ultimately, is this message for anyone that everything was possible.

Matt Jacob: 17:41

Wonderful. How do you, how do you encourage people to come out of that inaction stage? People have fears, people have a lot of imposter syndrome, especially when you talk about artists, photographers, filmmakers. So much imposter syndrome, myself included, and you've obviously been through it, you know, you think about. You wrote your first book without having any authority in the space. Right, you got into speaking without anyone knowing who you were, which blows my mind, which is such a wonderful kind of example of everything is possible. But how do you, how would you tell people, how would you advise people to kind of get to that point, because it's not as simple as well. Just go and do it, or is it?

Jaymin Patel: 18:25

I mean in the simplest form it is. But if it was that simple, everybody would be doing it right. So, yeah, at the heart of it, yeah, you just got to go do it right, but there's a ton of things that are stacked in that.

Jaymin Patel: 18:36

So when I wrote my book, I didn't research all the books out there, I didn't read all them and try to make them better. I wanted my own, my own voice, right. So I talked specifically about my own experience of how I, you know, was 24 years old and got networked my way through my MBA degree into this high, you know, top management, consulting firms, right, people were like how did you do that? Like, people were asking me. So, I would say, zooming out, the first question, um, if you're curious of where to go and try something is where are people like responding to you? Right. And so in my journey, when I was this young kid who barely had any experience and wasn't getting any attention from recruiters at business school, and then I turned around my game and I got an offer from pretty much every company I was targeting, people were like what? From pretty much every company I was targeting, people were like what did you do? And I was like well, I networked, I changed the way I networked and they go. Well, what does that mean? Well, I went to events, I talked to people, I called them on the phone. What did you say on the phone? Right, the questions kept coming. And what knew that if I shared that, it could create this ripple of permission and possibility, right? So my orientation was already very clear that if I could, if I could somehow take this and put it into a system that anyone could take and use, that they would go really well. So I just kind of wrote like this 10 page manifesto, what to do, what not to do, and left it behind for my classmates. But then what happened for me later is that I, when I was doing my consulting work, I also um, on the weekends would be a recruiter. So I traveled to all these hot business schools on the other side of the table and trying to meet all these students and I realized, oh my God, they don't even know what's going on, like everyone's confused. And I was frustrated being on the other side of the table. That's when I was like, okay, this is so clear, somebody needs to solve this. I was frustrated as a student but I didn't know what to do, and now I'm frustrated as a recruiter because the students still don't know what to do. Let me just put this into the world so that these two things can connect. So it all was my own download, my own experience, my own methodology. It was.

Jaymin Patel: 20:43

I was not this credible, you know, authority in in that field, but I wanted to make my contribution. So the first thing is to just listen. You know, even when I went from speaking to being a speaker coach, it was because 30 people had asked me in one year, jamin, how do I do what you do? And I was like, oh, maybe I should put together a course to teach people this right. And I started creating tools in my courses that could help people, you know, be successful. So I think that's the first thing.

Jaymin Patel: 21:13

The first thing is it's not just willy-nilly go, try everything anywhere, but find the thing where there's already a lot of signals coming to you from the universe of like, yeah, you probably want to move in this direction, whether that's writing a song, taking a photo, um, writing a book, you know, even shooting videos, starting a podcast, like whatever that might be for that person. Just pay attention first. I think that's the first thing, because if you're paying attention to what the universe is throwing at you, the universe is going to support you when you're actually doing it Right. So that's huge. How do we pay attention? How you pay attention? Just notice what are people saying around you. You know, what are people coming to you for? What are people noticing about you? What are people complimenting you on? You know, some people might say, hey, you know, matt, I saw your photos, but you haven't been posting any lately. That's a sign, no-transcript. Somebody is really wishing for that boat to be created. Does that make sense?

Jaymin Patel: 22:32

And so, for me, every time I think about anything that I create, whether it's a book, whether it's a program, whether it's a summit, right, it's like people need this. There's something where I'm gonna be creating this thing that's gonna meet magically, something that people really are looking for. Does that make sense? And so, anytime your creativity is, like, comes from a place of generosity instead of a place of ego, right? Like, oh, I'll be looked at new, differently, or people will think of me a certain way, I think that's healthy. So I'm not saying it's bad, but it shouldn't be your primary thing, Right? So it's like yeah, everybody wants that and everybody deserves that. I want everyone to have that like feeling of like, being seen and adored and you know all of those things.

Jaymin Patel: 23:16

But really is paying attention to like, how can I contribute to this fabric of humanity that's constantly unfolding? And when I take this action, what impact can that have? And if I take an inaction right now, what am I holding back from what the world may need? And when you look at the world that way, it changes everything. Because now you're excited to pick up the camera, because it doesn't matter how many likes you get.

Jaymin Patel: 23:40

It's that that one person sees that there's this one photo that you had that I just look at and, um it, just it, just it really hit me. You know, it's like this, like balinese road, you know, just like this um, beautiful thing, and it just has like this like empty space in it. You know, and it gave me this feeling and I think that's why you took that photo. No, I'm not the only reason. You took it right, because I'm sure thousands of people have seen that, but there's something of like it's going to hit us. It's going to hit us in a unique way.

Jaymin Patel: 24:09

So when you work to express yourself in a way that feels so compelling, that means the universe is kind of like already tying you to the people who need what's going on. That's why we're here together, because someone's going to watch this, they're going to get something right, and it's going to go and create this additional thing. This is a bigger thing going on around us, right, and our creative expression is its fuel. So when we are in our creative expression, this evolution of our humanity is being supported, and when we're holding back, when our stories and our judgments and our fears and our anxiety and our depression, all that sort of stuff, it's actually stifling that. Does that make sense? So? So, number one yeah, that's. You just got to listen, like, listen to what, what's coming around. Little comments that are just like, hey, I'm curious about this, or can you show me that thing, or hey, I really liked that thing that you did, all of those are just like universe kind of giving you a little signal like hey, move in this direction.

Matt Jacob: 25:03

Would you sorry to cut you off there. I know you've got more to say about that, but would you also throw in listening to yourself, or is that dangerous? Cause you, you know you have you tell yourself stories and maybe it's difficult to understand, Cause if I'm dumbing that down for us laymen, what you talked about, very articulately is really kind of finding out what feels good to put out there in the world and therefore feels true, authentic, meaningful to you, right?

Matt Jacob: 25:30

So I feel comfortable doing this regardless of what other shit is out there, right? So that's kind of also tapping into your own psyche and to really understanding, okay, what do I actually want to do and what do I feel like I can do comfortably and authentically? You talk about authenticity a lot, absolutely.

Jaymin Patel: 25:50

So you have to listen to yourself, and then that's where you just then use to do it, because when you know, you know, and here's what else I would offer is that the creative process ends the moment you post something, or let's just say it's a social thing, because now we post our creativity through social media. So for me, you know I'm also a writer and so you know people love reading my posts, they love reading my emails, like they just love what I write. And so for the longest time I would write and then I'd be checking oh, did it get likes, did it get comments? Like what's going?

Matt Jacob: 26:19

on.

Jaymin Patel: 26:20

And a big lesson for me was that the moment I posted it, it's enough, it's already enough, it's enough, and I can just spend the next two days not looking at it and then come back and just see what kind of response I got. And it might get literally. I will go from getting, like you know, three likes, one comment to 300 likes, 70 comments or whatever. It might be right, like, and I have no idea why. Certain things could be the algorithm, it could be what happened that day, it could be a variety of things, but I write from my heart and once I post it, now I'm done, it's enough, it's already enough. It's enough because now it's already on the platform for the world to see, and I think if more creatives could just be okay with that and not be lingering in what happens afterwards, right Then then, like you're, you're totally fine.

Matt Jacob: 27:10

Yeah, it's breaking down is easy to say and it's breaking down the the intent to not live for someone else. Yeah, right, to not do something for someone else. So when I say someone else, your audience or your family or your friends or your partner, obviously that's a little bit different. That's relationship stuff. But when you're posting or creating or going out with your camera or writing, sitting down, right, you're not thinking about what do the people want me to say or what will get me the most likes. Yeah, now, I think there's a healthy balance for that, because you know, if you're I don't want to talk about social media but if you're more, if you have, if you're able to grow your audience, that means you can impact more people. Right, they go together.

Jaymin Patel: 27:55

Yeah, they do get. Oh, my god, it frustrates me so much when people are just like putting their stuff out there, or like I have, you know friends who are musicians and have incredible music and I'm like like when are you having a concert? Like when can I come, like buy a ticket to see you perform this? And then they like they don't, why not? Because they're afraid, they're afraid of being seen or being rejected or being too much or being not enough. We have the same stories. All of us have.

Jaymin Patel: 28:18

I have those, you have those, and so what I recommend for the second part of your original question is first you have to listen to where you kind of want to go, try, and once you can feel that it just know that you're going to be supported in that. But then you have to come across this these stories right, these internal stories are too much, not enough, be rejected. Put myself out there, and for that what, what I ultimately recommend is, you know, no-transcript. My first go, don't try to go zero to 60. Like it doesn't, it doesn't make sense to go.

Matt Jacob: 29:12

They should look at our first few episodes, right, yeah.

Jaymin Patel: 29:14

Yeah, but I mean that's the whole thing. Look at the first few episodes of any podcast.

Matt Jacob: 29:17

Right.

Jaymin Patel: 29:25

So so I actually encourage that, because people aren't really thinking of that, right, so they go zero to 60. The other thing is that what people will do that, I find, is that they'll take a current situation and they'll project it out into the future forever, right, and the reality is that it's going to be dynamic, so what they might be like, oh gosh, but then if I do that, I have to keep doing that, and then if I keep doing that, it's going to take away from this and you go into these stories of like scarcity of resources or time or money or whatever, right, and they're like, yeah, you know I love to promote my album, but that's like a whole thing.

Jaymin Patel: 29:52

You know I have to be this and I'm like, no, it's, it's whatever you want it to be. You can be on, you can be off. It's a knob you can turn and you don't have to like completely dedicate yourself to something and become this other version of you to do something. It's like you can just do it Right and then see, like, just follow the breadcrumbs as it happens and be with the moment and don't project out, because people will project out and be like, oh my God, then I'll have all these viewers that I'll have to manage them, then I need a lead magnet and I'll need an email list and I just don't have time for that and they won't do it because they're projecting all of this stuff out. But that stuff just comes organically and you'll find yourself ready at every moment. So, just like with you with speaking, find your edge right, find where your edge is.

Jaymin Patel: 30:40

And I say this with networking, I'm like everything I teach people to how to go create these personal connections in their you know, networking. I'm like don't, don't go talk to the most influential person who can help you in your career. Next, right, just like, go talk to somebody else at this event today and practice that, and then go to someone who seems a bit intimidating, or someone in a line at Starbucks or you know wherever you get coffee. Like, just start using this tool of introducing yourself and then find your next edge and your next edge and pretty soon by the time you, you know, get in front of a recruiter or an influential individual who can help you. You're gonna feel so natural at it. Right, and the same thing for you. I mean, you were already a great speaker, but there was an edge, right, there was some nerves going out in front of this audience, and so I created it in a way that would be this edge experience Doable, but edgy, right.

Jaymin Patel: 31:30

That's what the whole summit is to bring you know speakers into a higher platform, and so that's the idea is that you don't have to go zero to 60. Find where your edge is and then do something there. Right, if that just means drawing you know 10 drawings in your notebook and not showing anyone, but committing to just those 10, and that feels edgy. What's the next edge after that, maybe taking them out of the notebook and putting them up on a wall. What's the next edge after that? Inviting over a friend? See if they notice right, what's the next edge? So you know you don't have to go and make these sketches so that they're worthy of the Smithsonian Like we're not going there. So get out of that mindset. Let yourself be in a place where you're taking it edge by edge and it just naturally unfolds interesting.

Matt Jacob: 32:17

Yeah, tell me a little bit about the coaching side of things, because I really want to like dive into you, don't just I mean, you can just become a coach, but I want to kind of get into where it really changed for you and you. You started to coach people not just with speaking, but with business, essentially right, being an entrepreneur. When we talk about creativity and I've talked about this even in my speech as well like creativity is everywhere, right. People say creativity and they think, well, artists, we're all artists of our own life and whatever, especially entrepreneurs, right. So can you kind of remember the first time where your coaching voice really landed and maybe, you know, made that impact? And I want to ask you a little bit, why coaching and not other kind of areas of life? But, yeah, I'm really interested to hear, like, were there moments like that where you felt, oh, I've really kind of maybe changed someone's life?

Jaymin Patel: 33:11

Oh yeah, oh my gosh, I think, um, you know I'm I would say number one that I'm a bit bolder. I would say number one that I'm a bit bolder. Um, you know, nowadays, so I, I do have this aspect of just going for it. You know I've, I have so many reps in from my twenties, you know, and even from that seventh grade experience, like just onwards, that I have a higher propensity for boldness, right, and I, it just comes with practice. It's like a muscle that you built and so, you know, you can cut the gap and you can get to a level of boldness that I feel I'm at in a year or two. It took me, you know, 10 years of moving at my pace and my edge. So I've had tons of moments where people feel like they've gotten, you know, their whole life changed. You know, in a conversation with me, you know, and, and this moment people are like they've gotten, you know, their whole life changed. You know, in a conversation with me, you know, and, and this moment people are like, oh, that's it, you know. So that happens a lot. Um, but there was one moment specifically that I want to share where, yeah, the coaching thing kind of was a natural thing. People were just asking me about it, so then I started talking about it I've always been very good at business and then I started creating programs and packages and people were really, you know, confused about all those things and so so, yeah, so I was kind of at this point I think this is maybe when I was like the first couple years in Bali and I was doing this thing, matt, where I was coaching, but with different voices to different people so I had, um, my coaching business that was helping coaches, right, very Bali thing to do, uh, which is business coaching how do you create an offer, get leads, um, do sales calls, that sort of stuff. Then, secondly, I was still coaching speakers and how to land stages, to get paid to speak, right.

Jaymin Patel: 35:07

Then I was a dad and fatherhood became such an important thing for me because my second son I caught him, you know, in an emergency situation where no one can get to us we couldn't get to anyone in our bathroom and he came like this and we welcomed him into the world. You know, in an emergency situation where no one can get to us, we couldn't get to anyone in our bathroom and he came like this and we welcomed him into the world, you know, and that again signal from the universe was like fatherhood is is super important to me. I've always wanted to be a dad, always, always, always. So it's always been important. But that moment I was like man. This happens to other dads. I want them to be prepared. So then I was also doing dad coaching, right? So I was coaching dads, running this annual event called Dad Week, the week before Father's Day, helping dads get together and feel worthy of all the love and attention that they're receiving and become better dads. So I kind of had these three coaching things I was doing.

Jaymin Patel: 35:55

Plus, I was still on, you know, 5,200 stages a year teaching, networking and, on my main, kind of speaking. So I kind of had these four different things. And then, you know, just being in conscious community, I was also, you know, moving through you know, plant medicines, right, a lot of like traditional indigenous rituals and practices and things like this. And there's this moment where aries said to me she was, I think, she my wife. She was like I think you need to go to the mountains, you know, and I'm like I think you're right, because I just things were not landing. It felt like I was just veilingly trying to be all of these brands instead of just, you know like it was like, yeah, so different all the pieces. And so I went up to the mountains and, uh, I had some uh like surgic acid with me, don't know what that is acid oh, just acid, yeah yeah, uh, psychedelic and, um, when I went up and I I I took a few drops.

Jaymin Patel: 36:57

Uh, turned out it was a little bit heavier, if it does. Sorry, where was this you?

Matt Jacob: 37:01

say the mountains, was it?

Jaymin Patel: 37:03

yeah, in the mountains, yeah and a. I want to say specifically where what mountain but it was in the mountains.

Jaymin Patel: 37:11

So I go up to the mountains and I take this and it's a beautiful experience and all this sort of stuff. Um, it starts getting late at night so I'm like, okay, great, like I'm gonna make my way back down to get onto my bike and as I'm coming down, um I find this like tree, you know, and I I just kind of like felt, it felt like a guardian to the mountain sort of thing. So I was leaving out coming to the flatland and I just kind of tripping at this point.

Jaymin Patel: 37:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, so having a really beautiful experience, you know. And so I kind of just, uh, was coming down and I kind of bowed down and I was like I thank you to the mountain of like thank you for this beautiful experience. And as I bowed down, it 10 X like my trip, like it was, like everything arrived in that moment is so weird, and so I couldn't keep going down the rest of the way, I just had to sit down in the trail by this tree and ultimately, you know again, you know, uh, whatever your views might be on psychedelics, I think they're beautiful. I think there's a lot of fear, um, around them. I think there's a lot of stories around them and I think the reality of being with them and having them be a guide in my life for over a decade, um, is that they're very powerful.

Jaymin Patel: 38:26

And so I sat down on the mountain and it kind of felt like I was speaking with spirit, and spirit was very much like hey, listen, it's time for you to really find your voice and shine as who you are and instead of doing all of these little things, you need to come out of the closet about everything that you're doing. You know plant medicine, psychedelics, you know this kind of traditional shamanistic work that I was getting into as well, as you know your business stuff and your family stuff and your sex and relationship stuff and your communication stuff, like bring it all. Like you find that voice and um, and it was so interesting, cause it? It literally showed me the faces of five people and it said go make an offer to these five people and just invite them into a container where you're in, work with them on everything in their life, all of it business, you know, sacredness, sexuality, communication, whatever it might be. So, again, that was a very clear message. So I, I listened, um, came off the mountain, you know, took care of myself, came home and reached out to those five people and set up a lunch every day with each of the five people and each lunch. I said, hey, this is ultimately what occurred, this is what I'm stepping into and I want to invite you into this offer. It's 10K. And three out of the five said yes, I had a 30K week and I just created this three-month journey where I surprised myself. You know, I was like lighting sage, I had a drum, but I was giving business advice all in one session. You know, it'd be like a long winding session, but it was everything somebody needed, because I was meeting them on a spiritual level, meeting them on a beliefs level, meeting them on a mindset level, meeting them on a strategy level. I was just kind of fully integrating.

Jaymin Patel: 40:18

And so this ultimately combined with the conversation that I had with my wife when we were at a wedding, um, and she just kind of saying, like you know, if you, if you were to die, you know, is there anything that feels like left undone that you haven't done yet? I thought it was a really beautiful question and I encourage everyone who's listening or viewing to think about this for yourself. And what came to me was you know, I've I've been very blessed to be successful in my speaking and coaching career, and so I've invested well over you know $500,000 into receiving coaching. So I've invested about half a million dollars into coaches to coach me Right, um, and so I've received so much beautiful value, um, from all of these coaches, including, you know, mainstream stuff to really off the cuff, you know, random things to deep ceremonial aspects. I mean the full gamut. And I said, well, one thing I haven't done is I've. I would want this to be summarized for our kids, so when they're older, at some point, if I'm not around and I had died, this would live on.

Jaymin Patel: 41:32

And so what I did was I I started mapping out all the things that I had learned in my journey and and I then started putting into a sequence.

Jaymin Patel: 41:40

I started seeing pieces were missing and I would intuitively fill those pieces that were missing and I put together this methodology, which I call the fully lived method, and that was a moment where this journey of me coming to my identity, of being this person who really cares about everyone being fully lived in every aspect of their life, and then creating this methodology of what I would leave as a you know, heirloom for my kids, right, those two things came together and it became the way that I coach.

Jaymin Patel: 42:11

So, you know, when I work with people, you know, even on their strategy or even on their speaking, there's a lot of internal stuff that I work with them on as well. Right, it all comes, all comes together, and there's this weird shamanic aspect of like I close my eyes and I can just see your essence and I can begin to articulate it into possibility, right, so there's these like kind of channeling, magical power, sort of things that are also part of what I do, but it is also very pragmatic structuring of here's a strategy for how you go take the next step. So that just kind of became the way that I coached. It was that moment on the mountain and that moment at the wedding that, when they came together, I realized, yeah, no, no business coach ever will tell you to go be the coach that does everything for everyone.

Matt Jacob: 42:54

Don't ever do that.

Jaymin Patel: 42:55

And I fully have stepped into very successfully being the coach that does everything for everyone, but not for everyone, usually for creatives, consultants, experts, coaches, you know, who want to go and bring their mark into the world and elevate their influence. That's really the person that I work with, but what I do for them is everything right. I make sure they're having great sex. I make sure that they're being creative in their work. I make sure they have great strategies. I make sure they're really managing their finances and like planning out like how to make sure they have lots of money right, helping them with their communication, relationships with their kids all of it, because all of it is involved. I need this, yeah.

Matt Jacob: 43:33

We all need it. Yeah, we live in a place that has so many coaches, so I want to talk a little bit about that, and I've coached most of them really, and there's a joke that between my wife and I we've coached like half a bottle really it's not too far from the truth yeah, it's easy to, because I've had my fair share of coaching.

Matt Jacob: 43:54

Um, I'm always looking for ways to better things, better ways to do things right. I think that's you know. I'm in a very privileged position where I can do the same, invest a lot of money into making myself a better husband, boss, creative, whatever it might be, so I'm all for it. But you know, there is a point where it's just like I don't know if this coach is real yeah or has like the experience I need them to have.

Matt Jacob: 44:20

Or they're just making stuff up, or they're just copying a template, or there is, you know, we talk about this and wonderful story, but there is kind of a caveat. I was like, just you still got to be careful and again listen to what is out there and do your research.

Jaymin Patel: 44:35

Obviously I really you know. So what I've realized is, yeah, there are these coaches who I know and love, but they've just finished their first coaching certification and they're like create your dream life right now. And I was like you. Literally you're not in a relationship.

Matt Jacob: 44:52

Yeah, you're like 22. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you haven't lived life yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jaymin Patel: 44:54

You don't have any kids. I mean, having kids is huge, huge, it's a thing. Having kids is a huge, huge, like, it's a thing you know, like when you have, it's like, yeah, I would highly recommend, like any coach that has a kid you know, because they're really understanding like the deep trauma connection of our childhood and how it formulates. I mean, every day I look at my children and I become a new person because my programming wants to yell at them and stop them and shape them, but what I choose to do instead is to get curious and listen and encourage right, and that ability every single day, every moment, to constantly be in the practice of that, wow, what that does for who I am as a human and as a coach is incredible. So so, yeah, I think the main thing is I get really frustrated by this because people will be like I'll unlock all your subconscious patterns so you can be a limitless, you know.

Jaymin Patel: 45:47

And then I look at them and then they're not in all of the things right. I'm like, well then, why aren't you in a loving relationship? Oh well, you know women on this island or you know stuff like that. So here I am, you know, in a long-term, committed relationship to children. Super successful business has been consistently multi-six figures for a decade. Right and in my full creativity, I go to dance. I have these beautiful. You know I'm flying to a conscious sex festival at a castle in France next week to go teach sexuality.

Jaymin Patel: 46:18

Um, you know, this is just my life. And so I think it's like, yeah, when you're finding support or finding coaches, you want to really know them, and what I have found for myself is that, yes, like marketing can be great to draw people in, but when people really get to know me and they get to see my life and also they understand I'm not a cocky asshole, because most people perceive that about me because of the way I talk- there is no, there is a wonderful inspirational air of confidence about you that doesn't even broach a breach like the ego arrogance level, and you know you can see that really balanced extrovert in you.

Matt Jacob: 46:54

There's just, you know, you've got, you've got the fucking proof. Like you know you can do it right. This is like fucking well. So what? Yeah, I'm here, I've done it, I can do it.

Jaymin Patel: 47:03

I do it again, million times exactly there's a feeling, um, that really just dropped in for me, maybe about a year, maybe a year and a half ago, which changed a lot of things also, and that is this realization that I came to where I've done enough work and I've achieved enough things or created them in my life, where I know that when I walk into a room, I'm the coolest person in the room. I know I'm the most interesting, cool person in the room. I know it and I just have that in me now like as a layer of confidence. So I'm not going in there trying to prove myself, trying to blah, blah, blah.

Jaymin Patel: 47:45

It's like people find out so slowly about me. They're like how did I not know this about you? You have eight books, or you have blah, blah, blah, you know, like whatever, and I'm like it's just there, you know, and so. So there's this layer where it's like landed to me. But because I have this air of confidence, people conflate that with cockiness and that's definitely not what I want to put. It's not the frequency I want to put out into the world, but people might project it on me or they may perceive that.

Jaymin Patel: 48:12

But when they get to know me and they get to see that I'm like literally living this life that has all the things that they want and they didn't think that it could all happen together simultaneously, they go okay, yeah, now I want to work with you all right.

Matt Jacob: 48:26

Well, tell me, you know, we'll go back to that story of you coming down the mountain, which is absolutely fascinating, and it felt like you know that was a moment, one of a few, the way you've found your voice, or at least a way to congregate that that voice into one, for you know, these multiple voices into into one.

Matt Jacob: 48:45

What, what, why, why do we talk about, why do we talk about voices being so important? You know, we think about the photographer who likes to go and take photos in their spare time, the weekend, and they're looking, they're thinking about oh, I'd really love to do more of this, but but I don't know how to, you know, create a style or a portfolio, or I don't know how to do create a business. So I'll just stick in my nine to five job and I'll just kind of muddle along and maybe I'll grow a couple hundred followers on Instagram and maybe I'll go on a workshop every now and then, but I'll just kind of try and enjoy it. Why, why would we kind of encourage them to step out of that comfort zone? And why is that voice? You know, searching for that voice, or at least trying to articulate it? Why is that important in terms of what? What would come of?

Jaymin Patel: 49:34

that it's a great question and, honestly, this is why people should contact you for your photography mentorship, right, because this is ultimately what you do. And same thing for me. Like you know everything that I wanted to create, I found a coach for it. You know, I've had a business coach, I've had a speaking coach, I've had a sexuality coach. It's not like I just know this stuff. It's like I'm talking half a million dollars of receiving coaching from everyone Anyone who had a frequency of like I want to learn this from you.

Jaymin Patel: 50:03

I want to move how you move when you dance. I want to sing how you sing. I just did, you know, a weekend long vocal activation last weekend because I wanted to sing, you know, in a way that I saw this woman sing, you know. So I still do it. I still like, oh my god, I want what you have. Yeah, give me your magic. Yeah, and the more one-to-one I can get, the better, but I can customize it for me. So the answer to your question is why? Why would we want to find our voice? Why would we want to create from that? Why would we want to invest in a coach and go down a mentorship path and become really good at something and to really create a portfolio of work and have that be the main thing that we do. And I think there's two reasons. Number one you can stick to your nine to five. Okay, that's all good. Some people have different values, and security could be one of them, and if that's one of your values, then a nine to five will give you that.

Matt Jacob: 50:49

And actually I think there's too much beratement of people who you know don't mind being in a nine to five. There's too much of like. You know you don't have to do this. You can go and create something, but some people yeah they may want that yeah they find that it's that security like absolutely so.

Jaymin Patel: 51:06

So the first part, though, is for those people to consider that entrepreneurship right. Following your creativity and trying to earn money from that, whatever that might be, whatever creative endeavor that is, is a spiritual journey. So do you want to sign up in your life for a spiritual journey that's going to take you through some ups and downs only for the sole purpose of revealing yourself to you? Do you want more of yourself revealed to you in this lifetime? Do you want to be for me? I want to know I'm living at my deepest, most authentic truth in every moment. Well, I have truth and love tattooed on my arms right, so that's significantly important for me, and when I first got a taste of understanding during my corporate life, when I hired my first coach, the ways in which I wasn't, I became hooked, you know. And so entrepreneurship of any kind, any creator who's out there and trying to take their creation and make money from it, that is a spiritual journey, huge. It's such a complex, beautiful, incredible journey to go on.

Matt Jacob: 52:16

When you say spiritual journey, you mean something that's fulfilling and revealing of your deeper self.

Jaymin Patel: 52:25

Yeah, exactly yeah. It's revealing of your deeper self and you get to know who you are. You need to live that, which is incredibly fulfilling, right? So that's one answer to your question. That's why you want to find your voice, that's why you want to invest in the mentorship, that's why you want to get support and create it as much as you can, right?

Jaymin Patel: 52:42

I think there are, you know, like three really great satisfactions, uh, in the world, um, and there's different versions of these, but for me, number one is to be in love with the mother of my children.

Jaymin Patel: 52:54

Okay, and you know, you don't have to be straight. You can be in a gay relationship, you can what, it doesn't matter what or you can be, you know, whatever scenario, but to in this world, where it's a 50% you know divorce rate, it is a unique thing to be in love with the mother of your children. Also, when I say be in love, I don't just mean like we live together and we're platonic. It's like, no, literally in love, right After 10 years, like that takes work. So I think that's that's number one. Number two is to take a creative endeavor of yours and to go earn six or seven figures from it. You know, like when I cross a million dollars for my speaking, I was like man. I did that like how many people in the world are walking around saying they took one creative endeavor of theirs and earned seven figures from it?

Matt Jacob: 53:37

yeah, but very few people. What's?

Jaymin Patel: 53:38

the point. No, because it just it shows your commitment, right. It shows a commitment that you're putting into your relationship or into your creative endeavor to come back from that, right. And the third one is your health, right? I love this quote that you know a healthy person has a million desires. An unhealthy person has what? Say that quote again A healthy person has a million desires. An unhealthy person has what To become healthy again, right. And so I think, really, those three things, you've got to be committed to your relationships and the love and sexuality that you get to and intimacy that you get to experience on this planet. You want to be committed to your health and make sure that you're optimizing that and not overworking, stressing yourself.

Jaymin Patel: 54:19

But then, number three, to commit to a creative endeavor to the point that you build it into something that brings you back this return, not because you know the money or whatever, but it's just. It indicates the level of commitment that you've taken that to and the level of boldness that you've found in yourself through that spiritual journey to receive at that level. Does that make sense? Journey to receive at that level, does that make sense? So you know 60,000, you know viewers on YouTube, like there's something in you that has shifted and changed in your journey, that's bold enough to receive that Right. So it's not bragging rights in terms of like oh, all these people, it's like, no, like. I'm actually receiving that. My receivership is open enough in my own system to be seen in my creation in this way. You know what I mean. There's something so magical about that to experience that in your lifetime. So this is why you want to find your voice.

Jaymin Patel: 55:10

The other thing that I would say is going back to what I was saying earlier is that if you don't find your voice, you're probably not contributing to the evolution of humanity in the way that you want. So you're not truly in your mission and it's not as fulfilling right. It's not that it's not fulfilling. Life is fulfilling in so many ways but there's a layer of when you choose to find your voice and pursue something and create it into something bigger so that it can reach more people, that you realize you're doing the work of the universe by being in your fullest expression, which is creating permission and possibility for others, and that is so extremely fulfilling and gives you a sense of fulfillment outside of what the security of a nine to five or you know, all these other things may give you. It's a different thing, right, and so go try out the different thing and just see if you like it.

Matt Jacob: 55:56

I think that's such an important point to understand that people see people, see other people making it success, right, and a lot of, a lot of people conflate success with financial value, right, but let's say, let's say that's true, and okay, you earn a million bucks from your speaking. You get over that milestone and then and that's why I said to you so what right? What does that mean that? What does that mean? You'll just go. Well, I, well, if the goal is money which I know isn't with you but if someone's goal is the money, the priority, I should say we all have goals with money. Of course the priority is money. Then you're just going to go. Well, where's the next million and what's the next thing? So you're kind of missing out.

Matt Jacob: 56:36

So someone from the outside would easily say well, you've earned a million, what did you do with it? Did you help others? Did you give anything back? Did you give anything to charity? Did you coach other, whatever? You know where's this cycle? But people don't forget about the contributions to society that you make just in that process. Right, it's so powerful, yeah, and you do it. If you do it in the way that you do it, with so much positivity, so much articulation, so much spirituality, so much love. Right, that is this ripple effect that even you take the goal let's say the goal is a million dollars you take that financial value out of it and just think about the process and everything you do day in and day out to get to that point, the thousands and millions of people that you are affecting directly or indirectly. And people don't understand that. And that's why voice is so important, because finding your voice is so powerful, not just to you but to so many other people. And that's really where, like, the true magic of life lies.

Jaymin Patel: 57:33

Yeah yeah. Everything is just an indicator number of followers, number of money, like those are just indicators of how strongly your voice is being put out there. And this is why when people kind of buy followers or use, like you know, really extreme marketing tactics to get people to purchase a passive product they're never going to use, and that's why those things never really last right, because there's you're not. Actually it's not a function anymore of getting your voice out there to as many people as possible. It's a function of taking something that your voice created and then now shifting it to followers or bank account numbers, which takes the focus away, and then the support from the universe kind of tanks and people go oh yeah, well, I'm not doing that anymore.

Jaymin Patel: 58:14

Why You're being so successful with it. I just got burned out, I was too tired. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The Facebook advertising game. You know it's like hustle, hustle, hustle. It's not. It's not the thing. The thing is the journey, right, and then this is all just what comes as an indication of how committed you are and how open you start becoming, how bold and confident you start becoming to really stand in your voice. That's the journey.

Matt Jacob: 58:38

Yeah, I love that you talked about that, because this kind of goes into my next question and I want to double down on this authority, this, this, what a lot of people, what. What stops a lot of people from starting a journey or going on and pursuing the, the sorry, the, the journey of pursuit of finding a voice, is the fact that they don't think anyone will listen to them. For example, you talked about buying followers on whatever social media. Right? I'm not a proponent of that at all, but I understand that maybe having an account that has 10,000 followers to an account that has 100 immediately has an authority level to it which can be just utilized as a marketing tool, right?

Jaymin Patel: 59:22

100%. Yeah, and I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying you got to be careful when you're shifting the focus. Yeah, I think it's a fine strategy.

Matt Jacob: 59:30

But how do you coach people to get around the zero authority? You know, when we all start something, we have no authority. We may have a voice, but do we have an audience who would listen to that voice? You know. So how do you get about? You know, when you started writing books and speaking, you took that leap because of your boldness, because of who you were. But there must have been some rejection there. I was like, well, who are you Like? Why would I want you to speak? And like, would you have any authority in the space? Maybe that's not specific of your case, but I know it is of many people. Maybe that avatar I'm talking about, the nine to five work who likes to take photos at the weekend? Why would? Why? Why would I have no social proof? I have no authority, so why would anyone want to see what I have to put out there?

Jaymin Patel: 1:00:14

Yeah, so this is a great question and I talk about this a lot because when I'm, when I'm coaching especially like coaches or speakers who are creating an offer to put out there to help people who am I to help people with their burnout or their weight loss or their mental you know, um, mindfulness, whatever and then, as a speaker, same thing like who am I to talk about this subject? Who am I to get on stage and take the stage from somebody else? Right, it's like this hilarious thought of like other people are way more deserving of the stage. I shouldn't be on here. Um, so the thing that I say is you, you, you got to look at it kind of like a, like a zero to 10.

Jaymin Patel: 1:00:53

Okay, so, when it comes to photography, I love taking great photos on my iPhone, but I do not know how to work a regular camera. I do not know what it can create. I don't know all the effects that can have. I've dabbled here and there with friends and just using their camera. I'm used to being on this side of the camera you know, with photo shoots or podcasts or things like that.

Jaymin Patel: 1:01:15

But so that person that you're referring to, right, so I would be like a one on the scale of being a photographer, I would be a one. This person who's working a nine to five, has, like a, you know, invested into a nice camera. They're taking photos on the weekend, they're dedicating their time to it, they're finding the shot, finding the light, doing some editing, all that sort of stuff. They're at least at a five, they're at least halfway there. Can I learn something from that person? Yeah, I don't even know how to focus a camera. Do you know what I mean?

Jaymin Patel: 1:01:44

Yeah, so I think the idea is that again, it's that zero to 60 thing that people think I need to be at the level of matt jacob to be able to, you know, contribute something photographically to the world.

Jaymin Patel: 1:01:57

No, bro, you know, like you're matt jacob now, but you were also matt jacob before, when you first started and you were at a three, you were at a four, you were at a seven, you were at, you know, you went to mongolia and became a nine and then kept going, became a ten, whatever that was for you in that journey.

Jaymin Patel: 1:02:13

That's really the idea is like someone who's at a five can help someone who's at a one, someone who's at an eight can help someone who's at a one, someone who's at an eight can help someone who's at a five. Yeah, right. So if you focus on that, so and it's also not even specifically like helping, but just also creating permission so you know, when I see, if I, if I was around a bunch of friends and they were taking a camera out and photographing waterfalls here in Bali, for example, and I saw them do that, I'd be like oh, like yeah, I'd be interested to try that. Like that's inspiring for me, that's like stirring something in me, like look at this amazing shot. I mean, for me it'd probably be like hey, can you capture me on?

Matt Jacob: 1:02:49

that waterfall.

Jaymin Patel: 1:02:50

You know, can I, can I be in your photos? Um, you know, so like it inspires that in me and it inspires me to be part of their art, for example. So for that person who's at a nine to five they're at a five, you know, they're halfway through, they're taking some photos and they're just thinking it's like, do it for the four, three, two ones, do it for them. Think about those people who had a four, three, two, one, you know, and maybe the four is like doing all the photos and they're just not posting them, but then you be the five who posts them and then they see yours.

Jaymin Patel: 1:03:19

It's like being at the gym, right, you see someone doing something. You're like, oh, you can bench that, I'm going to bench that, right. And so there's like this competitive layer where, even if you do it and it sucks, somebody else gets great permission from that, right. But then there's also the other layer of like, wow, I see that person doing something and I'm inspired to go try that new move or whatever it might be. So, whatever way it pans out, focus on, like, as a five. If I'm at this level, whatever I do next, if I move towards the six, it's going to ripple effect down to all the four, three, two ones, and if you think about it that way, you're not trying to compete with the six, seven, eight, before you're even there. Just you know, measure the other side. That's really the trip to get through that yeah.

Matt Jacob: 1:04:03

Yeah, that's super cool. Tell me a little bit about the networking and where that might relate to finding one's voice or at least being a little bit more successful in business. Why is networking so important and why might it be important to the creative spaces?

Jaymin Patel: 1:04:19

Oh my God, networking is incredibly important.

Matt Jacob: 1:04:21

Incredibly, now we're in his wheelhouse.

Jaymin Patel: 1:04:22

Oh, my god, let's go. Yeah, let's go. Bam guys. I mean, like we know, networking is literally everything. Right, the the reason we're even connected is because we networked through a brotherhood that we're both a part of. Right, it's a, it's a. If I just saw you on the street and approached you about, you'd be like be like whoa, what's going on? So what I can break down is that every opportunity that you want is literally one relationship away. Right, it is, it's like that one relationship.

Jaymin Patel: 1:04:51

I know that if I go somewhere and I meet someone, they can become a client, they could become a collaborator, they could become an investor. I, you know, I could become an investor for that. I mean, you know, like, so many things are possible. So the way I look at meeting people is I look at it as like, who am I going to meet and what possibility is going to open up from that? Right, so I get really hyped up on possibility and so when I'm networking, I'm like, okay, let me step into possibility, because it's very easy to go to. Like, say, you created this thing that had creatives and philanthropists who wanted to invest in creatives. Okay, and you create this event. People will go to that event, hang out with their other creative friends. Not really feel you know the guts to go talk to the other people, eat some of the hors d'oeuvres and then leave and they'll be like well, I went to the event but it didn't really do it.

Matt Jacob: 1:05:45

No one really wanted to talk to me yeah.

Jaymin Patel: 1:05:46

Right. That's a very real experience. Alternatively, if you learn how to network, you know especially network like a rock star, which is the way that I teach it. You're going to go to an event. You're going to know who to talk to, You're going to know how to start a conversation with them, You're going to know what to say to get what you want, and you're going to understand how to influence influential individuals so that they become a supporter of you, Whatever that might look like mentorship, investor, referral, connection, advice, whatever that might be. And then you leave and you have these new people who are supporters in what you do right, who are supporters in what you do right.

Jaymin Patel: 1:06:19

And so, when it comes to networking, I define networking as creating personal relationships in professional settings to achieve your goals right, Whatever those goals might be. And people say everything that I teach in networking can be applied to dating. I don't go into that world, but it is. It's all the same. It's all creating connection right. And at the heart of it, people move through these four stages of a relationship. I call it the relationship hierarchy, so it's a tool that I created and they move through these four stages. First, awareness Okay, so say I'm one of these people, you know investor philanthropists and I'm at an event with a bunch of creatives right.

Matt Jacob: 1:06:59

So by the way, we're going to make this event. I love that. Yeah, let's make it, let's do it.

Jaymin Patel: 1:07:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it, and so I'm one of those people. And then I look and I see all these creatives coming in. It's clear, you can tell who they are, right, I'm like that every single one of these artists who are walking in creatives. They're talented, they have some kind of art that they're creating that I would probably enjoy and they're all worthwhile of me investing in them. Okay, so that doesn't really do anything for any of us, because I'm just aware I couldn't go wrong investing in any one of them. But I don't want to invest in any one of them. I want to invest in the ones that I feel a deep connection with, right, I feel like I want to support them. There's some connection to the art, but also to them as a person. So what am I going to do? Well, I'm going to begin to look for different actions and behaviors that indicate to me which one of these artists is kind of the one that you know I see as being like the rock star, right? So there's a few ways that that works, and there are a few things that are universal and a few things that are personal, only to my preferences, right? But, for example, if I saw someone who showed up and they were like, not, you know, not like dressed in rags, but they actually had this really cool style, right. They weren't like I don't care, I'm just here.

Jaymin Patel: 1:08:22

You know, and if I can tell that from their clothing, right, that if I saw 20 people at once, I would be drawn to the one who dressed up.

Jaymin Patel: 1:08:31

They love personal expression, right. So, just, maybe even it doesn't have to be like you know anything specific, but if it's like I'm like they're trying, you know, in a way, I automatically me personally like that person. So, out of the whole group of 20, I'm going to see maybe four or five who are like, just, oh, my god, I want to go talk to them because I love their outfit, right. So, before I even talk to them, the way they showed up to the event is is that because you know there's these creatives who are like, oh fuck, I'll go and they're just, they're just wearing whatever, they're not even in their creativity. Maybe their creativity isn't their appearance, it's, you know, somewhere else. You know, no harm, no foul. But to me it's like, oh well, you're really not really trying here. You know, you're not really vying for attention and maybe your art is very separate, but I'm drawn to these about the person yeah, so I consider out of the 20.

Jaymin Patel: 1:09:16

I can't meet all 20 people in one night and go deep with them, but I can do it with five, right. So now I'm beginning to consider which ones, through their actions and their behaviors right Now, say, out of those five, three of them come up to me and shake my hand.

Matt Jacob: 1:09:33

Oh.

Jaymin Patel: 1:09:33

I love that, right, because I don't have to go chase them. They understand an opportunity when it's arising. So if I now invite them to meet my other investor friends, I can trust that they're going to be able to shake their hand and have a conversation. I automatically feel more trust with this person. This is just one example, right, so there's a variety of characteristics that would stand out to different people. I'm just giving one type of example.

Jaymin Patel: 1:09:56

So then what happens? Next? We'll be moving to the third stage of the relationship hierarchy, which is acknowledgement, and at this point I'm learning about their story. You know what they've done, where they're going, you know what their art is about, right, like, I want to learn all these things. And so you can't go to a networking event and not let people know who you are. It's not, you know, it's not a spectator sport. You've got to, you got to get in there. So so that third piece is really understanding. How do you articulate your story? This is something I help people with, right, the same way, with your speech articulating that essence into possibility. You know I do this with people pitching their, their companies to VCs. People trying to get on stage. People trying to create a coaching offer, people trying to create their networking story for when they go to an event and talk about their art. Right, they're all the same sort of thing. It's like how do you start conveying what you do in a really cool way?

Matt Jacob: 1:10:47

Elevator pitch.

Jaymin Patel: 1:10:47

It's like an elevator pitch yeah, but it's also the full story. Right that you would kind?

Matt Jacob: 1:10:51

of-.

Jaymin Patel: 1:10:52

It's not salesy. It's not salesy but it important. And you know, where have you been? What have you already done? Where are you going next? You know I need all this information. If I talk to some and they give me all this great background information and I don't know where they're going next, how can I open up the Rolodex in my mind of opportunities? I can connect them to people, I can connect them to resources. I can share advice I can give, because I have no idea where they're moving to, right?

Jaymin Patel: 1:11:18

So, as an artist or a creative like, it's really important that you understand how to pitch yourself right To talk about your art, why it's important, what you've done with it and where you want it to go next.

Jaymin Patel: 1:11:30

Right, like what, what is the next step for you? Because when those, all those things are there now I can really help you go where you're going. But this is where most people stop right. We go to a networking event. We learn about each other, we exchange business cards or connect on whatever and follow each other on Instagram, whatever it might be. There's another step and that is a step of support, and the support step is really important because this is where you know I would say, like when you're at the level of support, that person is pounding the table. For you know, and what I mean is if there's a decision to be made, if there's a wallet to be opened, if there is a show to be uh, you know curated, they're going to pound the table for your name to be a part of that that's when you have a supporter, right.

Jaymin Patel: 1:12:15

But support will happen in a one-to-one setting after that event is done, right, where we're connecting in full, undivided attention and, at the end of the day, this final step. What I teach is you want to get that person to begin to see a piece of themselves in you, and when they see a piece of themselves in you, they're going to want to help that piece be successful, which means they're going to help you be successful, right? So I need to feel this affinity with you of like, oh yeah, like who you are right now is like my 13 year old creative artist that then took a left turn and went somewhere else. But I see that in you and I want that piece to live out. So, like, let's go. Like, what do you need next? Like I'm, I'm right.

Jaymin Patel: 1:12:58

So this is kind of the very quick summary of the, the process of networking like a rockstar, which is you move someone through these four stages from awareness to consideration to acknowledgement notice, consideration comes before acknowledgement, right, and then into support.

Jaymin Patel: 1:13:13

And when you can move someone through these four stages, then then you can get whatever you want. That's how a 23-year-old business school student who had barely any years of experience and is perceived as being too young and too green and too inexperienced to handle any post-ambulance position, then convinced every single recruiter I was interacting with to make me an offer to come work for them. And I got an offer from every company I was targeting because they created that piece where they saw themselves in me and wanted me to be successful despite my age and experience. Right, it's like when I started my management consulting job, one of my best friends started in the same role, same company. He's 10 years older than me. That's the experience level they were hiring for, right, so he was 33, 34 and I was 24 how much criticism did you come, or how, how much ostracization did you come in for?

Matt Jacob: 1:14:05

you know, going into that job Were you.

Jaymin Patel: 1:14:08

Well, I mean, it was a journey getting in right. So I could talk at length about my interview process and all of that. But once I got in, people trusted me. But they did expect me to do a lot. They did. They definitely didn't go easy on me. It was almost like, hey, you're younger, we've brought you in, we're taking a risk on you. You better show up and here's what you need to do. But you know, I had mentors. I had again, if I, if I was thinking, oh my God right, that ability to do it as it comes. That's a huge part of the journey and being bold.

Matt Jacob: 1:14:47

And you know we've talked about this before, but, um, you know, I we've, we take all these different paths and some people are. You know, I became this, yes, man from a, from a young age, just through. You know, various things that happened in my life and I I always understood the power of regret. I always understood, like I never want to regret. Yes, I'm going to do things wrong, but I know that I made a decision, based on factors, to go and do that thing and I know I'll learn from it. Right, so what? Where do you? Because I see so much?

Matt Jacob: 1:15:16

Um, you know, don't ever like talking down to people, because I I want to relate to people and understand their cost of enact, or make them understand the cost of inaction when they've got either potential or they've just got a chance to just give it a go. Yeah, but what? Why do you think that is so prevalent in the world, especially with things like health, with things like business, with things like creativity, with anything in in life, with relationships, with parenting, with anything right? What is this fear that people have, do you think? I know it's a really big generalization, but I'd love to tap into why people don't see that cost of inaction, the same way that maybe we do, and therefore, how can we help them? Is it a fear of being misunderstood or is it a fear of failure? We help them. Is it a fear of being misunderstood or is it a fear of failure, right or is it a bit of both?

Jaymin Patel: 1:16:04

yeah, I mean, I think it's a fear of a lot of things, right. So it's a fear of rejection, for sure, right? Um, because we're not used to knowing what to do with rejection, right? So a lot of it is, like you know, emotions are actually guiding the biggest, you know, kind of aspects of our life, right? Either the avoidance of feeling something too intense, like shame or fear, or sadness or anger predominantly those are the main four. So you'd be surprised if I could show you a mirror. In the mirror you can see all the ways in which the avoidance of those emotions is shaping the decisions of your life, okay, and even me, I mean everybody. But the thing for me is, over time, I've now realized how to be with those emotions, right, how to process them when they come up and to move through them instead of resisting them.

Jaymin Patel: 1:16:59

So this is one of the teachings from Fully Lived is that, you know, imagine life is, you know, like going to be these ups and downs. If it wasn't, if it was all happy all the time, we'd be bored. So we need some dynamism in life. So imagine we have all the kind of these, you know, I would say easy emotions, but positive emotions, like you know joy, orgasm, you know creative expression, you know all this beautiful stuff. And then down here we have kind of the heavier emotions of like fear, shame, sadness, anger. So knowing that life will continually do this, no matter what we do, we will never be just here, it will always. Every little thing right Will come up, like this External business factors, your partnership, you know health stuff Like it's inevitable. This is the way life is. So imagine if it's like this rollercoaster. Imagine if you're on a rollercoaster ride and as it came to the top, as it was about to go down, it put the brakes on and it just slowly was making its way down. What would happen? It would stay forever in that heaviness, right, and they would have a lot of difficulty getting momentum to come back out of it. So what I teach is that when you're up here and you notice oh wow, business stuff is going off, partnership stuff is going off, health is going off, partnership stuff is going off, health is going off, you let go and you dive into the shame and the sadness and the fear and the anger and what it does. It helps you move through that more quickly and gain momentum so you can come back up. And here's the other thing, matt, is that the deeper you can go, the more higher you experience joy, orgasm, expression, et cetera and so what you're doing is actually expanding the range of what you can experience by going into it more.

Jaymin Patel: 1:18:41

But none of us very few of us on this planet are equipped with how to handle those emotions right. So it's a huge part of creating this kind of resilience or receivership is that, like you know, in my fully lived method that I talked about earlier, one whole component is emotional mastery Just different ways of understanding your emotions, the stories you hold about your emotions, the way you block yourself from your emotions, what to do when your emotions come up, how to release charge with your emotions, how to feel them in a safe way, and then how to be with them to allow them to understand the nature of them right. When you can do that, then you're no longer afraid of going right, and so when the next challenge comes, it's like, okay, great, I can do that. That's what resilience is, and so for many people, we've never taught resilience. And if you think about it, this happens at a playground, right?

Jaymin Patel: 1:19:34

I see this like yeah, so when a kid falls down, you know, there's a few different ways that we respond. Number one you're okay, you're okay, right, I'm here. We're not really okay, right, um, and so that's not really a great response that we're. We're taught so when we're young we're having these big emotions. Everyone around was like no, no, act like you're okay, act like you're okay and it's like okay. So I'm not supposed to feel this. So imagine that every single day of our lives, the number of times that we fall or cry or want milk as a kid is embedded in us deeply to not feel right. The second thing is distraction. Oh my gosh, look at this dragon, look at this balloon.

Jaymin Patel: 1:20:09

Look at this, you know. So it's like, yeah, don't do that, I'm going to put my anxious energy on you so that you don't feel your emotion, because we need to do this other thing right now. So then we're like super anxious around feeling our emotions, okay. So growing up over and over again, we're looking at the dragon, we're getting a piece of candy, we're doing all this sort of stuff to not feel our emotions, okay. And then the third thing is kind of this thing of like you know, kid falls, you know, off of a swing bad swing, bad swing. You know, I've seen parents who do this. I'm just like what you know. And so now there's like this victim mentality of like, oh, wow, like you know, this thing is bad and all of this. So you can imagine growing up with this all the time, every day, and then it being echo, chambered in by all families everywhere, that we all have this silent agreement to sing on this one note of we should avoid being in our emotions, right.

Jaymin Patel: 1:21:02

And so what I do with my kids is this practice that's called emotion coaching, and I didn't learn it until I had kids. And when I learned this I was like, wow, why doesn't every parent know this. And so now, like when my kid falls down and is crying, the first thing I do I say hey, you fell down. Right, I state what occurred, right.

Jaymin Patel: 1:21:22

When they're really young, I say you're probably feeling, I'll guess their emotions. And now that they're older, I'll say what emotions are you feeling? I'll have them say it right. So, like, hey, you fell down, you're feeling pain, you're feeling sadness, right, you're feeling surprise. And they'll be like you know, and say, when I fall down, I feel that way too. Letting them know it's okay that they're having those feelings, that those are natural and normal feelings to have. You see how this is completely unreprogramming everything. This is why I say, if you have a coach who's a parent, a conscious parent, who knows these things, they're going to be able to articulate this to you as an adult, to your inner child, because otherwise they won't know, they're just going to exacerbate more of what's there.

Matt Jacob: 1:22:03

There are a lot of parents that we know that have their own issues, that don't know what to do, right, yeah, and just exacerbate all of these issues Exactly, and look at the kids and just go and they don't mean to they.

Jaymin Patel: 1:22:16

Just they don't even know they don't know I I wish there was like a parenting license that I know you can get, because I learned about emotion, coaching, positive discipline, you know, and larian psychology.

Jaymin Patel: 1:22:26

It blew my mind and I parent so differently than how I was parented, which is a big challenge because I initially will want to do the thing that I, my parents, would have done. I have to pause that train and then jump onto a new train of doing the thing. That's more conscious, right? So? So imagine, every person who's watching this or listening has decades of this embedded. You know, kind of programming that you shouldn't feel your big emotions. So guess what happens when they think about being seen and maybe rejected the big emotions they don't want to feel that. So then they don't take the action step. That's what's going on, yeah, so when you can actually get comfortable with your emotions and realize that it's actually not a big bad monster and that the more that you look at them, the smaller, they shrink away and people go. Oh, my God, that's what happens. They go yeah, that's what happens and I'll prove it to you in like 10 minutes and they go my God, that was incredible. And I go.

Jaymin Patel: 1:23:19

Yeah, people come to me with anxiety, like, like, like stomach churning, like they're getting like gastro problems from their anxiety and in one call, yeah, and I, I, I give them one call, I take them through my emotional meditation practice and then at the end of it they're like, oh my God like, and they're changed. You know what I mean. And of course it's practice. You have to do it over and over again, but they'd never realized. I've had somebody who was depressed on medications stop taking their medication because they finally made friends with their sadness. You know what I mean.

Jaymin Patel: 1:23:50

So this is what's available, but nobody talks about it. Very few people are talking about it. So this is one of the key pieces. You know. I think there's four key pieces. This is one of the four key pieces. Is that emotional mastery, to be okay with your emotions, because you have fear of being too much, fear of not being enough, fear of being rejected, fear of putting yourself out there. All of that is actually the avoidance of that fear that's directing you. If that fear no longer was something you needed to avoid, of that fear that's directing you, if that fear no longer was something you needed to avoid, you actually feel more capable to go do that, more bold, courageous to go.

Matt Jacob: 1:24:26

Do that. I think just to kind of touch on very similar stuff that I talk about all the time, just being mindful. And people don't quite understand what mindfulness means these days because it's used ubiquitously. But in that sense it it's being mindful, being aware of your own emotions, right. A lot of people just aren't aware that they're getting angry and having an outburst, right, or they're not aware that they're just sad that day. They're alone, they and they take it out on all of these different things, usually their family and close people. But, um, being that, that first step of awareness is the secret to mindfulness and just being mindful of those emotions goes such a long way. Being mindful of that fear Knowing what's there.

Matt Jacob: 1:25:03

Yeah, and knowing the point.

Jaymin Patel: 1:25:04

Acknowledging it. Acknowledging it, it's huge, yeah, huge step.

Matt Jacob: 1:25:08

But people think, oh, of course I know it's there, but if you just acknowledge it and really be like, hey, this is what's here, Tell someone not just acknowledge it for yourself, yeah, Vocalize it or write it down, or and understand that a lot of this can manifest in physical, like gut issues or heart palpitations or stress in the net, wherever it might be, that it always somewhere just sitting with yourself is ah, it's such a powerful medium, but so okay.

Jaymin Patel: 1:25:35

So you want to touch on the other three. Yeah, I can touch on the other three. So, um, so one one is emotional mastery. That comes a little bit later in the process.

Jaymin Patel: 1:25:45

Um, before we get there, the first thing is to really understand that, like you know, I would, I would say you need to shift your relationship to the universe and time. So there's this notion that, yeah, time is kind of this linear thing. We only have so much of it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and that you know, things are happening to me and all this. But there's an evolution of thinking there in terms of stepping into, like, understanding. You are actually creating a lot of this which is overwhelming for some people, you know. But it's what was proven now through, you know, quantum physics, is that we know this to be a fact, not just manifestation, blah, blah, blah, but on a pragmatic level. You know you have for I'll say this one thing about it to kind of highlight it, because the deep teaching, but imagine that you had access to, like, if I asked you today what percentage of your experience today is based on who you've been in your life versus who you're about to be in the next 10 years, what would you say?

Jaymin Patel: 1:26:49

50, 50 would you okay, that's great. I think most people would say 90, 10 right.

Matt Jacob: 1:26:53

They'd say yeah, I'd say a few years ago no, yeah, yeah yeah, well, I mean, you've been doing the work right.

Jaymin Patel: 1:26:57

So so it's like I think for most people maybe listening or watching, they would say 90, 10, like everything I am all I know is who I've been. I don't know who I'm about to be, but I know, I kind of want, I like I have a goals list or I have a vision board, you know.

Matt Jacob: 1:27:10

So 90 10 but I spent 40 years of my life as this identity that I didn't felt I belonged in right. So it quite not easy, but it was to make this such a drastic shift. So now I feel a little bit more authentic.

Jaymin Patel: 1:27:23

Right. So imagine that both of these are equally accessible to you. But we move through life being like, well, this is who I've always been, so that's who I am, versus here's who I want to be or know I'm going to be one day, but but that's also who I am. I'm both of these things equally. And so most people are moving through life 90-10. Imagine that was 50-50. Imagine it was 10-90, right.

Jaymin Patel: 1:27:47

And this is where you get someone like a Lady Gaga or a Cindy Crawford people who've been Oprah. You know they've been rejected over and over again, but they're not looking at the past rejections. That's 10% of who they are today. They're full of the 90% of who they're about to be and they're convinced that that's who they're going to be. And so they move through rejection over and over again to become these huge personalities and voices in the world, right.

Jaymin Patel: 1:28:12

And so every time you hear a story of someone who's made it big, they've gone through that whole thing, but that's probably because most of their way of viewing themselves is this 90% of who I am today, right now, is that I am this future artist and you just don't see it. So if you're saying no to me right now, that's on you, right? You're going to regret this in the future. That level of creatorship of like no, I'm actually. My life is defined by who I'm about to be, not who I've been. Not my rejection yesterday. So that's the first module of the process is really going to depth around.

Matt Jacob: 1:28:48

How do you create that for yourself? Something you taught me, actually, when we did the summit, was even just the tiny little conversations you have when you meet a stranger. You know, we're built to kind of ask what's your name? And then what's the next question, what do you do? And so people are suddenly like, oh, and that's when they revert back to, even though they're in the process of doing something new and exciting, and they have this vision that 10 or 90, whichever way it is of who they want to be and who they're becoming, they will still revert to.

Matt Jacob: 1:29:19

Well, I'm, I'm, I'm a teacher, I work in corporates yeah you know it's is and then, and then you can see their body language going or they avoid the question. Oh, I'm just kind of like, rather than this is something you really hammered home with us was be that speaker and I'm I'm a speaker or I'm a photographer, I'm a podcast or whatever it might be.

Jaymin Patel: 1:29:39

Exactly only, rather than just like speaker, or I'm a photographer, I'm a podcaster, whatever it might be Exactly, own the identity Rather than just like oh, I'm doing a little bit of that.

Matt Jacob: 1:29:43

Yeah, you know it's different.

Jaymin Patel: 1:29:45

Own the identity, yeah.

Matt Jacob: 1:29:46

Right, because it goes in here as well. Yeah, not just to the people out there. It's a lot of this subconscious work.

Jaymin Patel: 1:30:00

Exactly, Exactly. So that's the first I would teach to have anyone become more resilient and increase their receivership, to really go for what they want and receive it. Number one is that kind of identity shifting work, of shifting how you relate to time and universe and what's available to you and who you are. The second part of that is then coming into the power of the present. So what happens in that moment is that all these things that we're holding on as tendrils kind of fall away and you just have way more time in your life because you're not worried about these old stories and future projections. You kind of come into the present and when you're there in order to make the most of it. It takes actually some skills to be with that much nowness.

Matt Jacob: 1:30:35

Does that make sense? It really does.

Jaymin Patel: 1:30:36

Yeah. So if you're tracking this, it's like the next step becomes. All of a sudden you realize you're creating this and your identity can be whatever you want. In a way, you have all this nowness to deal with. So the second step is really to be with all that nowness, understanding your boundaries. You're activating your sovereignty, shifting the way you communicate, clearing up other stuff that's just been lingering around. You know, this is the moment where people will, like have some sort of clearing conversation with their mother or their sister or their brother or their ex or whatever, and just let all these things that have been carried drop and focus on the things that are really about what's them right? So that's the second step. Is this being with the nowness is how I would, you know, kind of refer to it. So you create, you shift who you are. Then you're being with all this nowness. You change the way you communicate, what you're available for or not, how you move through the world, your sovereignty and the way that you communicate, and all of a sudden, all these things just start happening, right? This is a point where people begin to feel like miracles are occurring every day, because they're just like, and then I just did this and I went there and then this happened. I'm like that's what happens. You know, that's how it actually is, but we've forgotten that or we were never taught that.

Jaymin Patel: 1:31:49

Then the third stage is when you're with that level of nowness and things happening and miracles occurring, huge emotions pop up. Occurring huge emotions pop up. Oh my God, this is not right. This is not okay. I shouldn't, it shouldn't be this easy for me. This is all. It's all going to fall apart. I'm going to be so hurting.

Jaymin Patel: 1:32:05

So then we go into the emotional mastery. Because it's the sequence of how the process works is that at that point you need to be really capable to be with the huge. You're just, it's like you're at the, you know, like riding a race car at full speed or at the front car of a roller coaster. You're like, oh my God. And I'm saying put your hands up, it's okay, you know. You're like no, I can't, you know. So that's the emotional piece. That's where the emotions come in.

Jaymin Patel: 1:32:28

Once you have all three of those in place, then, and only then in my process do I recommend going into shadow work and inner child stuff. People today just go right into a workshop for shadow work and inner child stuff, and then they just stay there. You just keep doing it and like, oh my God, this is so amazing. I just keep you know. It's like you know you. Just you're an incapable adult, you're still operating as a child and you're going to a younger child version of you and then trying to get some goal. It's like no, like this. In my opinion, it's dishonoring. So if you're doing shadow work and you're doing inner child work, you actually need to understand how powerful you are, be available to be with that power, be able to navigate all the huge emotions that have been blocking you.

Jaymin Patel: 1:33:08

And once you are that fully functionally and capable adult, you then go into the inner child work right, and so that's where you do the shadow work and the inner child stuff and the reparenting and all of those journeys in my process. Then, once you've done that, it's like you're there right Now. Those inner parts that have been holding on to you begin to say, oh, you're different. Now I see how you're operating, I can let go, break down the fear, I can let go.

Jaymin Patel: 1:33:36

All those old stories, all those old beliefs, all those old emotions, all those old you know bullying, abuse, everything that we've experienced, rejection, those things that tightened up in us now begin to open up and release, and then we get our authentic self back and from that authentic self we're unstoppable and our voice.

Matt Jacob: 1:33:55

And our voice, and our voice. So what is without? Obviously, we're going to encourage people to come and contact you and, essentially, you know, investigate, being coached by you. But what can people do tomorrow? What can people do today? They wake up. How can they start that journey of finding their voice, finding their authentic self, breaking down those fear barriers?

Jaymin Patel: 1:34:16

Yeah. So it's a very simple question that I would just start anybody with. Okay, um, number one thing I'll do is you know, my kind of like freebie that I usually give is five life hacks to overcome overwhelm. Most people are just so overwhelmed in their life that they can actually do anything that we've talked about. They're going to take this and put onto a shelf. So if that's you which is probably you know everyone, we admit it, that's who we all are I have these amazing just it's like a 12, 14 minute video five life hacks to overcome overwhelm. So I would start there. I would just say, like, go watch those five things. You can do them like this.

Jaymin Patel: 1:34:52

There's things that you can clear up really quickly in your life to get out of a state of overwhelm where you can actually make decisions right. Most people will never move out of that state to be able to do something. So that's the first step. But a step that I'll give right now is a powerful question, and the question is who are you being right now? Right? So just make a list of like, who are you being right now? And it might be like oh, I'm being a dad, I'm being a you know employee, and then also emotionally, who are you being? You know like I'm not being as brave as I would want to be. You know I'm holding back a little bit. I'm at the edge of maybe doing something right. Just be honest. And then the question I want you to ask right after that is who do you get to be for miracles to occur in your life? And that will open up what your next step is.

Jaymin Patel: 1:35:41

Do you need to be more loud? Do you need to be more quiet? Do you get to be more brave? Do you get to listen more?

Jaymin Patel: 1:35:49

Each person has something that they're doing that, if you want a miracle to occur in your life, who do you get to be? And when you look at your current situation through that lens, you'll get all the clues you need in terms of where you need to be. And when you look at your current situation through that lens, you'll get all the clues you need in terms of where you need to go next, because miracles are waiting for everyone to occur. I mean, miracles occur all the time, and so who do you get to be for miracles to occur in your life? And that gap is where you want to focus your effort If you need to be more loud, more listening. You know less busy, more internal, more busy, you know more in action, right, more courageous, like what are those things that would allow a miracle to occur? And that is your map to finding where you need to build your voice, where you need to shift your being so that all of this can occur for you.

Matt Jacob: 1:36:42

So those answers to those questions would likely come from the first question of who you are being right now.

Jaymin Patel: 1:36:47

Yeah, yeah. So who you're being right now, honestly. And then, who do you get to be for miracles to occur? And the gap in the middle right, because everyone has their own journey that gap in the middle is going to show you. Ah, because everyone has their own journey, that gap in the middle is going to show you, ah, okay, this is where this is what's going to shift things.

Jaymin Patel: 1:37:03

For me, this is going to start creating miracles, and once miracles occur in your life, you know, it's like a yawn. You know it's just contagious, it just keeps happening, you know. So how do you get to that first one? You know, and for most people who are watching and viewing this, you know, and for most people who are watching and viewing this, I would imagine it's going to be something around being more bold, right, being more courageous, probably, but for some people it could be just, you know, being less busy, um, you know, being more committed. You know, um, you know, being more, giving yourself more time. You know you're pleasing everybody else in your life. You know, if you have kids and a partner, you know so it might be.

Jaymin Patel: 1:37:40

Being selfish might create a miracle, right, so see what comes up for you. But all of these are possibilities. But then that opens up the door that you can now go and have a handle, the doorknob. You can turn it and walk into it. What does it look like when you're more selfish about your art? What does it look like when you're more courageous about your photography? What does it look like when you're more selfish about your art? What does it look like when you're more courageous about your photography? What does it look like when you're more bold about your music, you know, or marketing yourself? That's.

Matt Jacob: 1:38:06

That's where you'll see the things begin to shift we haven't even touched on marketing or branding, but we'll leave that for another time.

Jaymin Patel: 1:38:12

Yeah, it's a whole. So much to share.

Matt Jacob: 1:38:15

I love that it's such a wealth of knowledge and inspiration. Thank you so much for for coming and, um, thanks for having me. I'm privileged to call your friend and, uh, you know I'm sure we'll have many of these other conversations, off air at least, if not on air again.

Jaymin Patel: 1:38:27

So yeah, and I want to thank you. I want to thank you for having a podcast so that your voice can reach so many people. I want to thank you for having the photography mentorship that you have. That just supports so many people in getting through these exact things that we're talking about. So, thank you, bro. Thanks for the plug.

Matt Jacob: 1:38:42

Yeah, yeah all right, take care man all right, cheers, bye everyone.